Best man
How to ask someone to be your best man
You don't need an engraved decanter and a velvet box to ask your best mate to stand next to you. You need something specific to him. Here are ten ways to do it, ordered by how much faff is involved — pick the one that sounds the most like you, not the most like Pinterest.
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1. The digital reveal
A private link with a short countdown, a couple of photos of the two of you, and the ask. He opens it on his phone, taps through, and — if it's done right — screenshots the final screen. Costs less than a round, takes about five minutes.
2. The handwritten note
One sentence on decent paper. Reference a specific memory — the night he talked you out of a regrettable haircut, the gig where you both lost your shoes. Specificity is what makes it hit.
3. The voice memo
Thirty seconds of you saying, in your own voice, why you want him there. Slight awkwardness reads as honesty. Send on WhatsApp. Zero packaging.
4. The custom playlist
Three songs that map to the friendship. How you met. The chaos. Something with the word "brother" in the title. One-line caption: "These reminded me of us. Also — will you?"
5. A small personalised gift
If you want something physical, keep it small and personal — a print of a photo, an engraved keyring, a card with a daft inside-joke. The independent makers on Notonthehighstreetad and Etsyad do this well, and you avoid the generic-flask trap.
6. The photo collage
Print four small photos, stick them to a plain card, write "Same energy at the wedding?" underneath. The photos do the lifting.
7. The inside-joke object
Cheap, specific, only makes sense to the two of you. The exact instant-noodle brand from uni. A miniature dinosaur because of the pub quiz. Tag it: "Need one of these at the wedding too."
8. The group ask
If you're asking the whole crew at once, send a photo of you all at your worst — blurred, mid-laugh, probably in a kebab shop — and caption it: "Recreating this in a tux. Who's in?"
9. The proper card
A photo card with a one-line ask works surprisingly well — fast, personal enough, arrives in the post like a proper occasion. Moonpigad do next-day in the UK if you've left it late.
10. Just ask
Pint. Question. Done. Don't overthink it — the person being asked usually remembers where they were, not what was in the box.
So which one?
If he's sentimental: handwritten note or voice memo. If he's practical: digital reveal — instant, shareable, no shipping. If you're asking a group: group photo or shared playlist. The thread running through all of these is specificity. A £2 note that references the time he carried you home beats a £50 box he'll lose in a drawer.
While you're here
Be My Best Man builds the digital reveal — a private link with a countdown, your photos and the ask. Five minutes to make, less than a round at the pub.